It is no secret in our household that if you want something, you should ask Dad. Often I will see one of the kids sidle up to Rich at 7.30 at night and whisper something in his ear. Unless I intervene swiftly, I will find everyone suddenly back in the kitchen spreading dishes and ice-cream and chocolate sauce all over the bench that I have just wiped down.

If they ask me, they know they will hear, “Sorry, the kitchen is closed.” The dishwasher is on, people! No more dirty dishes allowed!

Likewise, if someone wants to watch a movie or play video games right when it is time for chores or showers and baths, they know who to ask. They also know that grocery shopping with Dad is an absolute delight. If they come with me they know they will get the same old lecture as we walk in. “I am not buying any rubbish, so DON’T ASK!”

It really does feel like good cop/bad cop a lot of the time. And I often feel like a real pill being the bad cop.

So it was with some amazement that I received a note from one of the girls this week, telling me that she thinks I am generous and fun to be around.

“Do you really think I am fun to be around?” I asked.

“Of course!” she said. “You’re the BEST!”

I have become used to perceiving myself as stingy and a big wet blanket over grand plans.

When I heard those words I was able to think about all the fun we have had over the last few days. There has been a lot of jokes and teasing and reading and playing. I played Go Fish on the floor of the minivan during a dull moment. I assisted in making a photo essay about what happens when you try to balance a large Mario doll on your sombrero, “for people who haven’t heard about grabity (sic) yet.”

I realised that we have a great time in amongst all the nagging and rules and enforcing of standards and expectations. And I could see myself not as a cranky, obsessive, miserly bad cop but as a regular person, muddling through it all and getting it right just as often as I get it wrong.

I saw a quote by Norman Vincent Peale recently that said: “Change your thoughts and you change your world.” It’s true.

A few kind words this week have changed everything.

I’m not a good cop or a bad cop. I’m a parent. Nothing to see here, folks. Move along.

Holy Envy

No Butts

In a bit of a pickle

Press Forward, March Onward

When Rights Go Wrong

Discovering jiggle-chunks and other good things in Urenui

REALigion

Green and growing things

When a Calm Woman marries a Horn Honking Man

Good cop/Bad cop

Laura